Oz or Just Odd
by mlle.imandeus
Summary: A modern Fantasy AU that may or may not be somehow connected to the land of Oz. Let's find out together. Puckentine love forever! Teen but almost definitely will become mature in future. will become puckentine/jori crossover in future too
1. Chapter 1

Some days you wake up feelin kinda funky and you don't know why. Other days its clearly because you suddenly have huge wings and a tail.

Believe me, I know. I have absolutely woken up feeling funky for no reason.

Just kidding, yes I know about the wings and tail thing too.  
Wednesday morning I suddenly had some additions. I woke up when my little Kitty-boo made a squeaking noise like a scream crushed down hard. (Yes I know being in love makes a girl use stupid baby names, not the main issue right now.) I opened my eyes and said. "What's up, baby?"

"Sam, I need you to not move." My girl said softly, obviously near shock from fear.

I thought maybe I had a black widow on me or something. So I didn't even move as much as I already was. I froze completely and said, "Okay, Kitty, what is it?" I tried not to even move my mouth and just talk out the corner.

"I don't want you to get scared or shocked Sam, but something happened in the night." Cat began.

"What, babe? What happened, are you okay?" I asked.

"I was, Sammy. Now I don't know. I woke up all warm and happy, I was having the best dream. About the wizard of Oz. But it was better, more realer. And I woke up on what I thought was a soft warm fluffy pillow. But it wasn't a pillow Sam. It was your... your wing, Sam. Sam, you have wings."

I jumped out of bed, my wings fully extended in surprise. Which made the 'no I don't' I almost said pretty ridiculous. They were about ten feet across, and they did look pretty soft and fluffy, more angel wings than bird wings. Except they were mainly gray and golden brown. Getting darker toward the top edge, and lighter in the down. I had down! The ugly duckling seems to have become a freaky swan.

I turned and turned, trying to get a look at my wings.  
My girl made another 'eep' sound.

"What? I asked.

And that was when we discovered I also had a tail. There was now a fuzzy little happy trail about the width of my backbone that went all the way down my spine from my hairline to my brand new tail:

It was almost as big around as my wrist at the base, narrowing a bit along the length, but not much.  
It was about two inches longer than my legs. So just the fat end of it lay on the floor when I held it straight, but unless I concentrated, it kind of moved around on its own behind me like a counterweight.  
I had complete conscious control of it. But if I didn't think about it, it just kinda did its own thing back there like a furry python rooted to my spine.

That was another thing, it was much more prehensile than even a monkey's tail, more like a large snake.  
The last five or six inches of it didn't have any fur, but were a bit thicker than most of it and the skin was dark brown. So you couldn't tell it was bare from a distance. The skin was thick, like a callus, but smooth and about as sensitive as the palm of my hand. Not quite finger tip but more than regular skin especially the furred skin of the rest of it.  
I couldnt think of any benefits of it being sensitive immediately but the fact that it was solid bone and thicker than the length, if not the base, it seemed like at the very least I would have an extra fist growing out of the base of my spine if i needed it.

As if this wasn't all strange enough; when I grabbed it to look at it closely I noticed something I had overlooked in the excitement of having wings now.  
My calves and forearms were covered in long silky fluffy hair like cashmere leg and arm warmers. Not that I'd ever wear either of those.

"Ohhh, I told you not to say all those bad swears Sam." My love said, anxious and maybe about to cry.

"What do you mean, baby?" I asked.

"I told you not to use all those bad swears. I told you to be nice to people. I told you not to torrent those movies. But you always gotta know what's best and now you're a demon. You're a demon from always doing bad things and I want my Sammy back." She started to cry for real then.

"I'm right here Kitten, right here. I'm still me. There's just more of me to love." I tried to joke, but she wasn't buying it.

"Its not the same, now that you're a demon you will have to serve your dark masters and go out corrupting innocents or whatever." She wailed.

"Cat, I'm no different inside than I ever was. And thinking I'm going to turn into a demon for swearing or torrenting movies is the same as saying I'd go to hell for being gay." I said.

"Now who's being ridiculous?" She cried, even though I'd never said she was being ridiculous. "You say that turning into a demon for real bad stuff you do. On top of what, lets be honest, is a pretty rude selfish personality; is the same as God punishing you for who you love. Who he made you to love and obviously wants you to."

"I'm sorry, you're right. Bad example. What I'm saying is if demons exist, which I can't say I believe one way or another. But if they do. People don't just turn into demons. Any more than they don't turn into angels or turn into frogs. Because they are different things. Even if you believe people turn into angels or demons when they die, I'm still alive. And, I must say, it seems to me much more realistic that they are completely different species. Because it seems to be pretty well established across religions that they predate people." I said, trying to make her feel better first and foremost. Not even sure if any of this was my opinion, let alone the truth. It wasn't something I thought about much. And truth was not my priority. Making my love feel better was.

"How do you explain it then? It's not like you're a flying monkey. Like in my Oz dream." Cat said.

"Its as likely as that I'm a demon." I replied.

"Have you seen your nails this morning? Or your teeth for that matter? Demon talons and fangs. Without a doubt." Cat accused, seeming almost like she thought this covered everything.

I actually hadn't. I looked down and there was no denying my nails were longer, thicker and pointed, they also were a sort of greyish brown, lighter near the tips. A lot like my wings. But more dust brown darkening to near black while my wings were golden eagle brown to dove gray.

And my teeth; I didn't want to let go of Cat to look in the mirror but my tongue told me I was packing something in the neighborhood of a vampire. Except I also had slightly shorter fatter ones on the bottom as well.

"Wait," I said, finally catching up through the haze of my confusion waking up like this. "You had a wizard of oz dream, where I was a flying monkey. You wake up to find me with wings and a tail and you go to demon before you go to flying monkey? Many monkeys have claws instead of nails, most have carnivore fang canines, they have prehensile tails. My wings are feathered and my tail is furry. Don't demons have bat wings and naked or scaly tails with a point on the end?"

"You kind of have like a point." Cat said. But you could tell she was really thinking about what I said. "But I've been having Oz dreams for years, and you have been in them as a flying monkey almost since I've met you."

"Hmmm," I hmmmed. I kinda had to agree that as crazy as it sounded it was maybe more likely that the two were not related than that she would have a recurring dream of the future but that it wouldn't include me until we'd met.  
"But," I began, when something occurred to me. "Now we may never know why this happened. It still feels like a dream. But there are questions that we can answer. Like, if I have wings maybe I can fly?"

This stopped the crying and the arguing. "Sam! Do you think you really could?" She said excited before some thought hit her and she sobered instantly. "Your wings are enormous Sam, but not when compared to your body size. Its not anywhere near the wing to body comparison of any of the big birds."

"Are you calling me fat?" I joked.

But she took me seriously. "Well you aren't skinny, Sam. You may be nothing like fat but you have to admit that when compared to me and Tori, you and Jade are curvier. And you'd have to be like skeleton skinny and have hollow bones to fly. I'm pretty sure whatever gave you wings did not give you hollow bones."

"Okay, baby. I think we can agree that I can't fly scientifically. But I cant have feathered wings scientifically either. And maybe whatever magic that was in the air is still around or left a little bit behind inside me. If I have wings for a reason, its not insane to think that reason is almost certainly to fly." I mused.

"Well even if you can fly. Which is almost mind bogglingly unlikely. But even if you could. You almost definitely couldn't carry someone. Even if they were smaller than you, and were wishing real hard." She said sadly.

And then it hit me. She was a little worried that if I could fly and she couldn't she'd be jealous and it would come between us. Even though if it did it would be unintentional. "Well there's only one way to find out." I took her hand and headed outside.

No matter how hard I flapped I couldn't lift off. I could feel it pulling but it just wasn't strong enough.  
So I tried jumping, I tried running and jumping.  
I sorted out that it would assist, sort of like a chicken flying. I could now jump maybe fifteen feet high and maybe a breadth of twenty feet, but nothing that could be more than jokingly called flying.  
On the positive side I was definitely stronger and could grab Cat and run with her with no discernible slowing and when I jumped with her it took so little off it was almost unnoticeable.

It wasn't flying, but my girl did like it. And kept wanting to do it again.

We also discovered; when we jumped first from our roof, then from another one that was twelve stories about half a mile away.  
My wings slowed me down enough that from any reasonable height would land no differently than if I jumped.  
Later, when we went into the canyon, where there were good thermal updrafts; we found out I could glide and soar almost as good as a hang glider.  
And a lot of people asked for our autographs convinced that we were making a movie.

It was at this point that we learned most of the electronics were down. No cell reception or internet. We heard excuses from sunspots to electromagnetic pulse weaponry from our enemies; although no one could say who. But as soon as they discovered we didn't have working phones or a working camera and we were just 'practicing and testing the props' They became much more friendly on every subject.

When I heard everyones tv was also down. I called it a day and rushed us home.

I ran in and turned the tv on, but all I could get was one channel showing a documentary about birds.  
I called to Cat who was in the other room that the only thing showing was this bullshit stupid bird program. There was an instant hiccup where the channel switched over to a journalist saying 'Hey." Funny coincidence but I wasn't able to find that station again.  
For a split second I was hoping we might get some answers. But it looked like that was a pipe-dream, at least for now.

Turned out Cat wanted to watch the stupid bird program anyway.

At least these were nice birds. Not that creepy ass Duck Channel she likes. Presenting statistics like over 50% of duck mating is rape and almost 14% is necrophilia as if these were just normal statistics one might expect to find with any animal in nature. Instead of horrors only surpassed by the elephant seal where all mating is gang rape and the female dies under her blubbery assailants about 20% of the time.

My girl does not need to have more aberrant and abhorrent behavior presented to her as normal. Thanks to her brother, the difference between normal and outrageously offensive is not her strong suit on the best of days.

But what happened next would have stretched anybody's incredulity.

I went to turn the tv off and suddenly it switched channels between several shows none of which was the bird movie. Saying 'Hey! -Don't touch that- sit tight- for more information.'

Cat looked poleaxed and pointed at the tv.

"Yeah, that was weird." I said, "But we can't just put our faith in some weird tv thing. We need to sort out what the heck is happening. The tv thing has to be either a practical joke or a weird coincidence." I said.

"Says- the girl with- the- wings and tail." The tv replied, switching channel to channel.

"Okay tv. You tell us whats going on." I said, maybe a little snarky. But I think it was fair to say I was under some stress.

"Not- for me to say- young lady. -I am- only me. -You will be told when it is time. -Or- will- figure it out- if you re-ally think." And it turned off.

"What the fuck?" I said turning to Cat. "He tells me not to turn him off, yet then he turns himself off. He says he is only himself but he doesn't say who that is. Do you think there's an alien in our tv? Or an artificial intelligence beamed down from an alien?"

Then my kitten said the most bizarre thing. "We have to think about it logically." As if she was the world's leading champion of logical thought.

She continued, "Obviously, something has happened.  
There are two kinds of supernatural. Alien, sci-fi, extra-planetary supernatural. And 'natural', magical, ghosts and witches, earthly supernatural.  
Now you didn't wake up half robot and integrated into a cybernetic hive mind. You woke up with wings and a tail. While you can't fly, you can fly a damn sight better than a 125 pound girl with another fifty pounds of wings should. Still points to magic more than aliens to me. And the tv. Did it seem like an alien civilization trying to communicate? Or did it seem alive? It sure spoke perfect English and I did notice it sometimes switched channels for one word, when his meaning would have been clear, if choppy, without it. That doesn't sound like someone struggling to communicate with a new language. That sounds like a machine coming to life.  
That's two votes for magic, none for aliens."

"Oh, Kitty, baby, only you would say we have to think about this logically and then move straight into arguing magic versus aliens."

"Having an open mind is the key foundation stone of a science. I agree I'm not exactly logical, or meticulous. I don't really have that sort of brain. But I can still understand and interpret my own experience." Cat explained.


	2. Chapter 2

I admit it. I was shocked when Sam suddenly had wings and a tail.  
But once I got used to them, I saw that the gliding and enhanced jumping were pretty fun and useful.  
And once she had me semi-convinced that she wasn't a demon (can anyone ever be entirely convinced that their lover is not a demon?) I was ready to look at them as just a part of her. And maybe, I almost hate to say it, but, find them attractive.

I mean if the situations were reversed I'd be teasing her. Poking her and tickling her; saying 'somebody's a furbie. Somebody wishes I had an actual cat costume. You little furbie. Somebody likes it fluffy. Someone likes it warm and fluffy like a pancake'." And other assorted playful teases.  
But Sam was relieved if anything. After she explained that it was furrie not furbie and explained what a furby was (I'd almost shut those terrifying monster toys from my mind); she explained how scared she'd been that I would just not even look at her the same way.

At least I remembered that when I woke up.  
My sweet Sammy and the lovely day we had playing with her new wings. Seeing if she could fly. And as far as I knew it was the next morning.  
Until I found Sam's note. Initially I didnt even recognize it was from her. She hates to write and with text and email she almost never does.  
I barely recognized her handwriting and on something so long.

I have to say, I felt really loved. I could tell that she had to leave me and was so scared that I would wake up and she wouldn't be here. She babbled sure, she was trying to throw out everything she could think of as fast as she could. It was messy and a little confusing. But it did tell me what was happening and even more important it showed me that she would do anything for me. Including writing a note that was almost a novel and doing it while Im sure someone was shouting at her to hurry up.

_Kitten,_

_I don't know how long you'll be out and I have Tori and Jade bitching at me, as well as saying, "But Sam, this is serious." every five minutes.  
AS IF I wasn't taking this seriously.  
I want to give her a slap.  
And wait till you see her. Jade. I wont tell you why, but seriously. If you think I changed... _

_However, until we get Glinda, she's the best we have.  
Because while they want to call anyone with magical power a witch, Jade has storybook witch powers, not like you or anyone else I've heard of.  
Maybe Glinda, I don't know. _

_She says you might not remember anything. But I'm gonna hope you at least know who you are and who I am. Because if you don't, we have more problems than I can deal with alone.  
But I know we can face it together. No matter what happens. We got this far, didn't we?_

_Who would have thought that The Wizard of Oz was based on a true story? Or that Wonderland and Neverland were both real places as well?  
A lucky few had always been allowed across the veil or gate or wall between our worlds.  
Somehow someone always made it through one way or the other over the years.  
Quite a few people if you remember that the world of the White Rabbit and the Cowardly Lion was the same place as the world of Jack the Giant Killer and the Snow Queen. So it seems everyone who woke up in a mysterious magic land was going to their own local section of the same place._

_I guess that explains how a persnickety and obsessive mathematician (with a dark secret), ended up the originator of the nonsense fantasy genre._

_Once the twin worlds existed... we'll say side by side but in fact it was exactly on top of each other.  
Their molecules moved in the empty space within our molecules.  
Our scientists and their wizards knew that the vast majority of even the most solid, hard material is empty space.  
But we didn't understand is that empty space could host multiple worlds even multiple people.  
That only things that vibrated at the frequency of our world existed here the rest of it passed through us like radio waves. But even radio waves existed in our world. The stuff of the Otherworld didn't balk at lead or diamond or anything; passing through everything equally easily. _

_Fuck biscuits, I'm sorry, you don't need to know all that chiz. But I said it, so I'll leave it and move on._

_I don't really understand it, even though I've seen a documentary.  
Ever since the tv woke up and came to life it was 'watch what it wants to show or nothing'.  
Oh yeah everything electrical. Tv, cars, cel phones they're all alive if they work at all. Stuff like microwaves and toasters, stuff not interesting enough to attract a gremlin (what some of us're calling the little spirit sprites that live in objects and bring them to life). They dont work at all. Gas stoves and the like are still just stoves, but... Damn it. You dont need to know every detail and I have no time._

_Hundreds of years ago, over a thousand, something happened and the big gates, doors, and tunnels were closed separating the worlds. It was almost assuredly humanities fault. It had something to do with the discovery of iron. A man made metal that not only could distort or destroy the effects of magic depending on proximity; it burned magic folks like solid blocks of acid.  
I'd be willing to bet its more likely humanity was too open, once this effect had been discovered, with their plans to turn this effect to their advantage.  
Somehow gaining dominion over our sister world.  
So all the gates and doors were shut and locked. _

_But anything shut can be opened, and there have always been a few people and a few artifacts that could change frequencies and allow people or things to travel back and forth. _

_So occasionally glimpses were parceled out to a few lucky people, but no more than that. Until Tuesday of last week. Or really Wednesday, since it was 2am. In a moment the two worlds merged. I don't mean the gates opened I mean they became one._

_There are no more gates, no more barriers. And it wasn't pretty; more like some primordial god burped up a universe. _

_Suddenly California is both in Winkie country and in the Dominions of the Nome King. But that doesn't stop Thunderbirds and Manitou from roaming where they will. And don't ask questions. The Charm hears you ask too many questions you'll find yourself turned into a hummingbird-toad. Just so you have other things on your mind.  
Because Magic is apparently a sentient force called The Glamorous Charm or just The Charm. Mostly we are just using the bits that fall off them like dandruff, but they can invest you with power if they like you._

_Usually, on an average day, its best not to draw their attention. Sort of like a benevolent but mischievous king who is prone to experimentation._

_And thats the big problem, the experimentation.  
Well that's not exactly true.  
The reason a medium percentage of the population exploded, imploded, disassembled or just disappeared was not The Charm experimenting; it was residual energy from the merge.  
The reason they didn't stop it, when they definitely could have, that was their eternal, 'lets see what happens' attitude. _

_This was the same reason for all the Hodgepodges. Which was the Ozite name for those people, plants, and animals that mixed with what or whoever was in the same place at the same time. At least that was the prevailing belief of how we got so many mix-n-match oddities. Nona is a tree now. She looks exactly like Old Nanny Hickory from the Sacajawea movie._

_There's Jade, who you have to see to believe._

_And yes, I'm a freakin flying monkey. Or a monkeyin flying freak because I'm not pure monk.  
When I spell it out it seems like a lot: wings, tail, long fluffy soft fur on my calves and forearms, finger and toenails that are semi-retractable claws I have to trim with a dremel... But really I don't look much different.  
Standing in the living room you would say I looked like I'd gotten a tan and was wearing a backpack covered in feathers. The arm and leg fur people say they don't notice right away and when they do, it could maybe pass for some new kind of cashmere legwarmers. Not that I'd ever wear such a thing._

_There's no question that there's magic at play. Even beyond turning me like this, because there's no way according to Earth physics I should even be able to glide and flap-jump.  
Let alone my minions that can actually fly._

_Oh yeah, I'm also king of the monkeys. The day after I woke up this way. While you and I were still trying to sort out what in the name of all hells was going on. (Before we'd even seen the Nona tree). The old king of the monkeys stopped by to give me the golden cap. Which apparently controlled and called my minion horde and was my token of office.  
He seemed pretty nonchalant about giving me his crown and he agreed to hang around and act as my advisor. _

_I needed a lot of advice.  
Because all monkeys are winged now.  
Monkeys have bird wings, lemurs and other prosimians have butterfly wings and apes have hairy scary dragon wings. _

_People called them bat wings, I guess because of the hair, but those arent like no bat I ever saw. _

_And, of course, since all animals can talk now, I had quite the kingdom of subjects.  
Or I kinda do, because as it turned out the golden cap had a radius of influence. In Oz it controlled the one tribe that lived there, but now it was a whole different world and I could summon all the primates in five hundred miles, and for the most part, they would be mine to command._

_Outside of that sphere of influence, some offered their loyalty by choice and some felt independence was the answer.  
At least with the monks.  
Apes I have very little experience with, except for the ex-King, Did i say he was a shaggy orangutan with what looks like demon-dragon wings? Cause he is. Other than that the apes I've met are only the ex-tenants of zoos and the odd richie's menagerie. But as far as I could tell I had no control over them at all._

_ The cap let me call them, but nothing would let me control them, even a little. Which is not to say they opposed me, but just that whatever they did, it was by their free will. _

_Which I, of course, preferred. I didnt like the caps power. Because while the monks were happy to serve, I dont know if that was natural or the cap's magic._

**_Frick-frack-frickety-fuck-fuck-damn!_**

_Jade was just reading over my shoulder and saw that I haven't told you nothin 'bout nothin while taking more than three pages to do it.  
I'm sorry baby.  
Watch your voice, especially singing. _

_I'm not the only one who changed. _

_Everyone and their fat granny is a witch now.  
And since this is nonsenseland. Or I guess Nonestica is the name for our american/ozite continent.  
Wait sorry, what I was saying is because this place seems to equate silliness with magic, every witch must have a title. _

_So you are officially the Witch of the Western Sea.  
Possibly because you are the closest to the beach. _

_I dont know, nor have time to care. _

_It had already caught on before the first time we heard it ourselves. Or at least the first time we knew it was you. _

_They call Jade the witch of the western road and the witch of the black tar road which I think all put her on the 101 but I'm not sure.  
That is mostly concrete after all. _

_They even tried to call me the witch of the monkeys and then the witch of the golden cap when I tried to explain it was the cap that had the power not me. But I think they settled for King of the Monkeys when I insisted. I know the monkeys did, which I guess is what matters. _

_Crap flibberty crap! _

_I'm doing it again. _

_Okay bullet points. _

_*The first time you saw Jade, you screamed and your scream knocked her ten feet in the air and twenty feet back. Like being hit by a car but without the impact trauma_

_*When you sing you can force people to obey you. Impressive power but not as flexible qas ould be and not what you would have chosen. _

_*If you sing a sustained note, it can hit with physical force. (Like your scream, but we think that might not be all you can do with it. Depending on the note.)_

_*You currently can effect yourself. Possibly always, possibly just till you're used to it. Something happened we don't know what. You might have been attacked. All I know is when I came home you were unconscious with a bit of blood coming out both ears. I called Jade for help and after 24 hrs with no response; t__he old king, my head monkey, suggested we get Glinda, so that's what I'm doing._

_Fuck fuck fuck no time. _

_Will be home Friday lunch time I hope. Turn on the tv and if he'll work for you. (He should, you're sweet to everyone) find out what day it is and see what he can tell you. I am so sorry kitten. I screwed this royally. Babbled almost four pages and told you almost nothing you need. Dont come looking for me. Try to just stay in the house til im back. _

_Love you heaps, _

_Sam._

Well wasn't this a fine kettle of fish. But I couldn't be mad at her. The information she gave me was useful. I would have been happy to have it all, if she hadn't run out of time, so it would be a situation of in 'addition to', not 'instead of'.

I thought I might as well try the tv. I did vaguely remember something about it switching channels quickly and providing what sounded like a connected narrative.

I switched on the tv. It was playing a nature documentary about lemurs. Then they mentioned that lemurs, bushbabies, and loris were prosimians. A word Sam used in her note that I was unfamiliar with. So all those little cuties had butterfly wings and Sam was their queen. Wait, king. She seemed to be pretty adamant that she was a King. "Too bad we don't have documentaries of what they look like now." I said, quietly to myself.

The tv immediately changed. "Please Mistress Witch, give us time. We are just learning how to live at all."

There was now a face like a happy face with sun rays coming off it super imposed over the center of the screen. This gave us something consistent to look at if we talk to it. He also switched channels so fast the voices still changed but there was no longer any lag time between words when he switched.

"Changing and growing. I'd say you're learning to live pretty well." I complimented him.

"Thank you Mistress Witch." The tv said, using the same loop he'd used before. Apparently that would be the way he said my name from now on. And I did ask and make sure he was a he. I also tried to get him to tone down. "Please call me Cat."

"Certainly Mistress Cat whatever you wish." He said.

"No just Cat, without the 'mistress'. I said.

"Perhaps we'll get there. In time," He said, then continued, "I can also cover the screen with a neutral background except my face if you find it distracting for it to alter as I cycle through conversing." There were at least six voices used to say those sentences including one that was clearly female, one that was clearly british and two who were possibly one or the other.

"Do you know where Sam went?" I asked.

"Unfortunately, I do not. I observed, but I did not communicate. King Sam came back to your home, found you unconcious. She sent her chamberlain, the emeritus King to fetch your companions The Witch of the Western Road and Miss Vega. The King Emeritus then suggested she bring Glinda the Good in. The Witch of the Western Road attempted what sorceries she knew but they were for naught and the three of them departed two days past."


End file.
